Progress on this family history project

I have been busy working on my family history project.  Trying to put all my research into print.  This is a bigger project than I was prepare for but wonderful.  I am learning so much more than I had hoped I would.  Surprising my cousins and uncles have come forward with lots of photos and memories to add in and it has given me a picture of the years gap in my information.

I know my dead relatives better than my live ones.  I've spent the last 40+ years working with them and getting to know them in rich detail.  Following their lives over decades through census and documents.  Sometimes with photos and letters.  They don't talk back or argue with me.  They patiently sit on the shelf when my life gets busy with other things and don't expect much from me back.  The live ones are much more difficult to work with.  This project is pulling me closer into the lives of my relatives with a bang.  We are emailing, and talking.  This is new, and a bit scarey for me.  It's made me realize that I have lost many rich opprotunities over the years.  Missed reunions, missed family events to learn and draw close to those that share my blood line.  I have struggled with research when I could have learned first hand.  I have many regrets.  Could have done things so differently.  Looking back, I understand why I chose the path I took, and why there was a distance.  Not all my choice, but what I saw as the better road.  Wish it had been different and I could have felt I could keep a close relationship with these people.

Family relationships are complicated.  Divorce is a challenge and more difficult on children than most adults are willing to accept.  In all, many things become tangled and confusing.  The most difficult is the loss of connection.  Some of us take a long time to find our way, and lose a lot in the journey.

I see old photos and am transported back to a happy time in my childhood.  I see pictures of  cousins, their families, their grandchildren and they are strangers to me.  I wonder where the time has gone.  I see my uncles as they were when I was young, but as I look at the photos that have come across my desk I see they are old men.  When did that happen? 

40 years are filling in fast.  Photo after photo is eliminating the gap, and I feel as though I am catching up on some important things in the lives of my family.  If nothing else, I am getting to know them again.  I feel this is a blessing I wasn't expecting from this project.  I wasn't going to ask for help.......was going to finish it with what I had gathered on my own over the years, but now this is such an amazing project so full of details I would never have been able to do on my own.  I can't thank my cousins and uncles enough for their kindness in sharing things precious to them.